STRAY CATS
- Stray cats will not be fed.
- Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
- Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
- Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
- Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
- Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
- Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
- Stray cats will be permitted on furniture but must sharpen their claws on new $114.99 sisal rope scratching post with three perches.
- Stray cats will sleep outside.
- Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
- Stray cats will sleep in the house, but not in our bed.
- Stray cats will sleep in our bed, but not under the covers.
- Stray cats will not play on the desk.
- Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
- Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is using it.
- Stray cats will not CJDJBEFUBEDBVKJB KNCX ZXMNLJN!
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